The anxiety of receiving my O Level results has just hit me. It started with a few butterflies in my stomach, then an elephant in my head and finally… I can’t think of any allusions to animals regarding fear in the heart. But yes, this overwhelming sense of uncertainty has a strong grip on my heart.

I tried playing around with my rugby ball, I tried playing CHESS, I tried watching TV. The pain is still there! So in the end, I decided to recall all the horrible things in my past and the pain was assuaged. It felt like I took a knife to cut a wound deeper than an initial one I first had so that the pain focused on is shifted. I literally squirmed at the thought of those things.

I also recently watched Kung Fu Panda 2 and the bad guy said that scars don’t heal, wounds do. Our of the humour of the movie, there was some lessons taught. Wounds are meant to heal, scars are meant to teach.

This part is irrelevant & nobody asked me but… I think I’ve got what it takes to be a genius. I’m rather clever, I’m quite strong-willed & I’m very paranoid. These are the characteristics that defined Bobby Fischer, the chess legend. But on second thought, I think I’m neither as clever nor as paranoid as Bobby Fischer so I take it back. I don’t have what it takes to be a genius.

Ok, I’m actually quite in a good mood. It’s just that next Monday that is causing me to emit negative vibes.